this fucking guy
“like seriously”
10. Most of the time, I don’t care about sports. Guys can deal. Talk to me after you shave the pubes off your head.
9. I’ll dress however the fuck I want. I’ll put on the shortest fucking skirt and let the girls come out and play.
8. Deal with the way I make plans, motherfucker. If I fucking feel like it, then I’ll bug you 24/7. If I don’t feel like it, I’ll cancel the fucking date. Go fuck yourself. And you know what’s creepy? Your fucking head. What is that?
7. If I’m late, then I’m fucking late. If I’m five minutes late, you can LIVE, you can SURVIVE, I’m pretty sure. The doctor says so.
6. I ain’t gonna bake you some fucking cookies and brownies. Bake for me, fucker. I’ll eat the whole goddamn thing. Fuck you and your cookies.
5. Yeah, okay, I’ll eat.
4. Some chicks can’t help but be really skinny. And some chicks can’t help but be all, oh how you say, “plump-like.” And like how you can’t help but constantly say “like seriously.” I’m sure there are pills for that.
3. I guess the person who told you that haircut looks good was one hell of a liar. Aw. Life sucks.
2. Know how to be a girlfriend? Hahaha. Hahaha. Haha. “You should change.” Hahaha. “If a guy flips out on you, there’s a reason.” Hahahaha. You fucking douchecanoe. Go fall off a cliff.
1. I will fish for goddamn compliments if I want to. Tell me I’m pretty, motherfucker. I’m afraid I can’t say the same for you.
